How to Tell If a Female Colleague Likes You: 9 Clear Signs

A 2024 survey by the Society for Human Resource Management found that 33% of American workers have been involved in a workplace romance, which is up from 27% before the pandemic. About half of those surveyed said they had a crush on a co-worker within the past year. So the odds that someone at your office has feelings for a colleague are pretty high, and it might be you on the receiving end.

The tricky part is knowing for sure. People are friendly at work because they have to be. So how do you separate regular politeness from genuine interest? Here are 9 signs that can help you figure it out.

She Makes Eye Contact That Feels Intentional

Most people at work will look at you when they are talking to you. That is normal. But there is a difference between polite eye contact and the kind where someone holds your gaze a little longer than necessary, especially when there is no real reason for it. If she looks at you from across the room, makes eye contact, and then smiles before looking away, that is worth paying attention to.

There is also something called the eyebrow flash, which is a tiny, unconscious gesture that lasts about a fifth of a second. It usually happens right when someone is happy to see you, and it is often paired with a smile. You might not catch it every time, but if you notice her face lighting up whenever you walk into a room, that tells you something.

She Finds Reasons to Be Around You

Some co-workers are everywhere. They pop up at your desk, they swing by during lunch, and they seem to always be taking their break at the same time you do. If a particular person keeps showing up in your orbit and starting conversations, even about small things like weekend plans or a show she is watching, it could be her way of getting closer.

This is one of the more subtle signs because it can easily be mistaken for friendliness. But if you notice that she does not do this with everyone, and that she goes out of her way to talk to you specifically, there is a good chance she is interested. Professor J. Celeste Walley-Jean has pointed out that repeated exposure to someone increases the likelihood of attraction, so being around you more often could be both the cause and the result of how she feels.

She Remembers Small Details About Your Life

You mentioned a dentist appointment last Tuesday. She asks how it went on Wednesday. You told her your sister was visiting from out of town, and a week later, she asks how the visit was. When someone pays that much attention to what you say and brings it up later, it means they are listening with care. That goes beyond typical co-worker behavior.

People tend to remember details about the people they are drawn to. If she recalls things you mentioned in passing and brings them up naturally in conversation, she is invested in knowing more about your life.

She Touches You Casually

We all have a sense of personal space, and we are selective about who we let into it. A co-worker who likes you might casually touch your arm while making a point, lightly tap your shoulder to get your attention, or sit close enough that your knees almost touch during a meeting. These small physical gestures feel natural in the moment, but they carry weight.

If she brushes against your hand when passing something to you, or nudges you playfully during a joke, those are not random. People tend to create physical closeness with the people they feel something for, and that kind of touch is one of the most reliable cues that someone is comfortable around you and wants to be closer.

She Copies Your Movements Without Realizing It

This one is interesting because it is almost entirely subconscious. When someone is attracted to another person, they tend to imitate their body language. If you lean forward, she leans forward. If you cross your arms, she does the same a few seconds later. She might even start picking up words or phrases you use regularly.

Psychologists have studied this behavior extensively, and it points to a subconscious emotional connection. The person doing it usually has no idea they are doing it, which makes it a very honest signal. If you notice her matching your posture or mannerisms during conversations, she is likely more tuned into you than she realizes.

She Compliments You More Than Necessary

There is a difference between a co-worker saying "nice job on the presentation" and someone who regularly tells you that your shirt looks good, or that she likes the way you handled a tough situation, or that you seem different in a good way after a haircut. Frequent compliments, especially ones that go beyond work performance and touch on your appearance or personality, are a strong indicator of interest.

Pay attention to the kind of compliments she gives. If they are specific and personal, like noticing a small change in your appearance or praising the way you think, she is watching you more closely than a regular co-worker would.

She Reaches Out Beyond Work Hours

Co-workers follow each other on social media all the time. That part is normal. But sending messages outside of work, especially ones that have nothing to do with a project or deadline, is a different story. If she texts you on a Saturday to share a funny video or sends you a song she thought you would like, she is making an effort to keep the connection going when she does not have to.

This is one of the more telling signs because it takes initiative. At work, conversation happens naturally. Outside of work, she has to choose to reach out. And that choice says a lot about where her head is at.

She Acts Differently Around You

People behave in slightly different ways around someone they are attracted to. She might become more animated when you walk over, or she might get a little quieter and more self-conscious. Maybe she fidgets with her hair, laughs more easily, or seems to sit up straighter when you are nearby.

These behavioral shifts are subtle, and the best way to spot them is by watching how she acts with other people compared to how she acts with you. If there is a noticeable difference, she is probably more aware of your presence than she lets on.

She Asks About Your Personal Life

When a co-worker starts asking about your friends, your hobbies, your plans for the weekend, or your relationship status, she is trying to learn who you are outside of the office. That kind of curiosity goes past the normal bounds of work friendliness.

She might frame it casually, like asking what you did over the weekend or what kind of music you are into. But behind those questions is a genuine desire to understand your world and figure out if your lives could fit together outside of the 9 to 5.

What to Do With This Information

Reading signs is one thing. Knowing what to do with them is another. If you have noticed several of these behaviors from the same person, there is a real possibility she is interested. But workplaces are complicated, and moving too quickly or making assumptions can backfire.

The best approach is to pay attention over time. One or two of these signs on their own might mean nothing. But when they start stacking up, and when you notice them consistently, you can feel more confident about what is going on.

A Forbes survey found that 43% of workplace relationships lead to marriage. And according to the Society for Human Resource Management, 74% of employees who were previously in a relationship with a co-worker said it was worth it. So the numbers are actually in your favor if things go well.

Take your time, be respectful, and if the signs keep coming, you might want to find a quiet moment to let her know you have been paying attention, too. Sometimes the best things start with a conversation that has nothing to do with work.