15 Powerful Signs You’re an Intimidating Woman

If you identify with the intimidating women's signs that we share in this article, you should feel proud! It’s not easy being an independent, self-sufficient, confident woman in the world, and we can bet that you went through quite a few trials and tribulations to get where you are.

That being said, you might wonder what impact your power has on your relationships and your romantic life. Is the way that you present outwardly keeping you from making connections? Does it prevent others from being honest with you?

In this article, we’re going to cover 15 signs that you may be intimidating as well as some helpful tips for moving through the world as a powerful woman.

15 Intimidating women signs

You’re stunning

There are a lot of different characteristics that a woman can have to make her stunning, and therefore intimidating. For one thing, she may have conventional good looks that turn heads wherever she goes. Or, maybe she’s got striking features, such as sharp cheekbones or a powerful jawline that makes her attractive in her own way. A woman can also be striking because she’s tall, or because she’s got a level of self-confidence that gives her the impression of being larger than life.

All of these characteristics play a role in increasing a woman’s intimidation level.

People struggle to maintain eye contact with you

Women who are intimidating are often comfortable with eye contact. But what they might not realize is that intense, sustained eye contact is intimidating to most people. This is especially true when it comes to maintaining eye contact with someone whom they feel is intimidating in other ways, such as being in a position of power at work or being known for giving brutally honest feedback.

The room gets quiet when you talk

As an intimidating woman, we can bet that you rarely get interrupted or talked over. And this may be because you’ve spent your entire life or career making sure that people listen to you, which is absolutely admirable. In some cases, it means that those around you deeply respect your opinion. In other cases, it means that others are worried about the repercussions of sharing their piece or saying the wrong thing. Either way, when you have the floor, the rest of the room is silent.

Only your very close loved ones are honest with you

As an intimidating woman, you might have had the experience of unknowingly walking around with something in your teeth all day. Then, when meeting up with your best friend for drinks after work, she finally points out that you’ve got some spinach in your smile.

This often stems from people around you not wanting to upset you, and it can play out in other areas as well, such as colleagues hesitating to disagree with you and opting instead to tell you what you want to hear. As we’ll discuss later on, this can have a potentially negative impact on romantic relationships, as well.

People defer to you as the leader (even when you’re not)

Your go-getter attitude has probably already landed you with something of a leadership role in your career. Maybe you’re a manager or, hey, even a CEO of your own company. But, even when you’re not at work, it’s likely that you continue to wear the boss hat, even for things you never signed up for.

For example, if the power has gone out in your building, do your neighbors expect that you’re the one who will make sure the landlord gets it fixed? Or, if someone cuts in line at the post office, do you feel compelled to call them out as if everyone else in line is expecting you to do so?

These are signs that even if you didn’t sign up for it, people look to you to keep peace and order in the world.

You hear “sorry to bother you” quite a lot

Whether you’re busy or not, you probably hear people frequently apologize for interrupting you. If they need something from you, they might preface their question with, “I hope this isn’t a bad time” or “I’m sorry to come to you with this.” And it’s not uncommon for even friends and family to reach out to their extended social network before bothering you with a request for help.

This isn’t to say that they see you as unreliable, of course. It’s simply that they see you and your lifestyle as busy and important.

People give you your space

The use of body language is a huge indicator of how intimidating other people perceive you. And, if you notice that people tend to avoid entering your personal bubble or frantically move aside their belongings to make space for you at the conference table, they may be intimidated by you. After all, presence is powerful, and you may have a built-in force field that keeps people at a distance.

Most people assume that you can take care of yourself

Intimidating women often give off the impression that they’ve got everything under control in all areas of their lives. Of course, no one is okay all the time, and powerful women have difficult moments just like everyone else. But, because they present to the world as strong and independent, they may receive fewer check-ins from loved ones.

In dating, you find yourself making the first move

So far, we’ve talked about intimidating women signs in everyday life, but your dating life is also full of clues to explain how the world sees you. For instance, being intimidating means that you probably don’t get approached by potential suitors when you’re out with friends or by yourself. If someone catches your eye, you find yourself making the first move instead of waiting around for them to build up the courage to come talk to you.

Even in settings with friends of friends, you may find that you have to put in the initial effort to make connections.

You have little tolerance for small talk or pick-up lines

Intimidating people often have very little patience for inconsequential conversations, and may even find small talk and generic pick-up lines painful. Their response may be to silently stare until the person walks away or clap back with a line that sends them running. And while understandable, this can be a huge barrier for initial connections. After all, most people don’t want to start off a connection by diving into serious or personal topics. That being said, there certainly are people who are able to instantly connect with intimidating people, often with humor or a clever statement.

First dates tend to be awkward

There are a few reasons why first dates as an intimidating woman can be difficult.

On the one hand, it goes back to an intolerance for small talk. You may feel bored listening to someone talk about their work or hobbies before having an emotional connection with them.

But it also has to do with the fact that many people feel overly nervous around intimidating women. Someone who normally may not struggle to open up and be charming on dates can suddenly find themself stumbling over their words or sweating through their shirt.

You get ghosted from time to time

To be sure, ghosting (or the act of cutting off all communication with someone you’ve been dating without warning) is never justified. And you don’t deserve to be ghosted just because you’re an intimidating woman.

But the sad reality is, people typically ghost because they’re afraid of confrontation. And someone who already struggles with having difficult conversations will be even more anxious about breaking up with someone who intimidates them. Their solution, albeit hurtful, is to avoid the conversation completely through ghosting.

You’ve been accused of ending romantic relationships too quickly

At the same time that intimidating women may face ghosting more regularly, they may also hear feedback from their close loved ones that they end relationships suddenly. That’s because powerful women tend to know exactly what they want and have little tolerance for red flag behavior. And, because they’re not afraid of confrontation, they feel comfortable breaking things off when they feel it’s necessary.

You end up making a lot of the decisions in a relationship

Once a relationship gets past the getting-to-know-you phase, one of the common intimidating signs is one-sidedness in the decision-making power. This loops back to the tendency of others to see intimidating women as leaders while being afraid to disagree with them. To be sure, this can lead to strife within a relationship, because even though one person may be better at making decisions, that doesn’t mean that they want to carry the emotional weight of being the leader in the relationship.

Partners may worry about talking through problems with you

Keeping things hidden is detrimental to a relationship. But, in a couple in which one person is intimidated by the other, they may find it hard to bring up their grievances in a healthy, appropriate way. This can lead to built-up resentment and explosive arguments when keeping things bottled up becomes impossible.

How to find the balance between holding onto your power and connecting with others

If you see yourself in one or more of the intimidating women signs, you might wonder how you can interact more positively with the world without losing your unique, admirable essence. There are a few possible solutions that you can try:

Consider ways that you can soften your delivery

Intimidating people tend to be direct and clear in the way that they provide feedback. And, there’s a lot to be admired about being unafraid to speak your mind.

That being said, there are some potential drawbacks, for example, hurting people’s feelings unnecessarily or making them less likely to see you as a safe person. So, think about how you might be able to get your point across while being diplomatic.

Let’s say, for instance, that you’re on a first date and you realize that his favorite movie is one that you hate. Instead of immediately tearing him down for having bad taste, you might try a different approach by saying something like, “I’m not a fan of that movie, but I’d like to hear what about it appeals to you.” As you can see, you don’t have to lie or criticize him. Instead, you can make your opinion known and use the opportunity to learn more about how he sees the world.

Learn to love (or at least like) small talk

We know small talk can feel fake and forced, especially for someone who is motivated and goal-driven. But there are some really important benefits to chatting with everyone, from your neighbors to your colleagues to strangers at your coffee shop.

Small talk has been linked to increased mood and feelings of connectedness and community. It also allows the people in your life to feel more comfortable around you by increasing your trustworthiness.

When you focus on the small brain boost that you get after having a successful small talk session with someone, it will get easier to make casual chatting more of a daily habit. And, over time, you’ll start to enjoy it!

Relax your muscles

You might have heard of a phrase for people who, in their natural state, have an expression that is cold and unapproachable. It’s similar to “resting mean face.”

And while this natural state is not your fault, there are ways that you can make yourself appear less closed off. All you have to do is consciously relax the muscles in your forehead, jaw, neck, and shoulders. Not only will this make you look more open and friendly, but it will also benefit your own mental health.

You’ll be surprised at how this little change will make it more likely for people to feel comfortable coming up to you to chat.

Ask for input

Once you know that people feel uncomfortable adding in their two cents when you’re around, one of the ways that you can remedy that is to simply ask more. And the key is not to ask questions like, “Do you agree?” or “Does that sound good to you?” because that makes it very easy for the other person to simply go along with you.

Instead, ask more open-ended questions. In a relationship, this might look something like:

• What were the highlights of the last few weeks for you?
• Are there specific ways that I can support you/show I care about you?
• Is there something that you feel like we can work on over the next month?
• Was there something that you felt like we had to overcome over the last month? Were we successful, or is it still a sticking point between us?
• What do you think is a strength of ours (as well as a weakness)?
• How do you feel about our communication? Do you feel heard?

To be sure, having these kinds of conversations is tough. It can be uncomfortable to talk about ways that you might need to improve, especially if you’re unused to getting feedback in this way. So, you may need to learn how to let your guard down and not become defensive when your partner opens up.

Celebrate the strengths of being an intimidating woman

We want to end on one of the most important reminders for women who are perceived as intimidating: don’t water yourself down to become more palatable for others! Sure, there are ways that you can be kinder and more open to connection and vulnerability, and these changes will improve your relationships. But, don’t forget that what makes you "intimidating" to some are also characteristics that make you a great person and partner. For instance, intimidating women are:

• Clear about their standards and aren’t willing to compromise on their worth.
• Independent and comfortable being on their own.
• Able to communicate clearly and without fear.
• Great organizers and motivators.
• Skilled problem-solvers.

So, even if you identify yourself in the 15 intimidating women signs, don’t forget that you are a catch! And your power and independence deserve to be celebrated in your personal, professional, and romantic relationships.