What is Mutual Ghosting?

Mutual ghosting happens when two people who have started talking or dating both stop communicating without saying anything specific about ending the connection. This is different from ghosting, which involves only one person cutting off contact. In mutual ghosting, both people quietly stop reaching out to each other.

How mutual ghosting works

In most cases, mutual ghosting starts when both people lose interest. This can take place after exchanging messages online or meeting up for a few dates. There is usually no message or explanation. Instead, both people gradually stop trying to talk, call, or meet up. There is no explicit agreement, but each person notices the lack of effort and does not pursue contact.

Differences compared to one-sided ghosting

In one-sided ghosting, only one person makes the choice to stop all contact. The person left without a reply may feel confused or hurt. Mutual ghosting is different because both people feel the same way and take the same action. There is no single person left waiting or rejected. Both quietly agree, often without words, that there is no reason to continue.

How common is ghosting

Studies suggest that between thirteen and twenty-three percent of adults say they have been ghosted by a romantic partner. About seventy-two percent say they have experienced ghosting at some point. Nearly one in four people say they have been ghosted shortly after the first date. These figures refer to ghosting in general and do not separate mutual ghosting from other types.

Why does mutual ghosting happen

Mutual ghosting often takes place when both people see that the connection lacks a spark or strong compatibility. Both users may feel no urge to put in extra effort, and both find it easier to end contact by letting the conversation fade. Avoiding uncomfortable talks can feel more comfortable than telling the other person there is no interest. According to therapists, stepping away quietly can feel like the easiest option when people want to avoid conflict or awkwardness.

Effects of mutual ghosting

For most people, mutual ghosting brings less confusion or pain than one-sided ghosting. Since both parties want the same outcome, the end feels neutral rather than hurtful. Still, some people can feel uncertain if they are unsure whether the other person felt the same way. There is usually less emotional impact compared to situations when one person is ghosted without warning.

What studies and experts say

Studies on ghosting point out that being cut off without warning can feel similar to physical pain in the brain. However, mutual ghosting often does not carry this strong response because both people were not emotionally invested or clear on the next steps. Therapists like Morgan Anderson say that while mutual ghosting avoids rejection, it still leaves out the value of direct communication. A clear message would give certainty and avoid confusion for both parties.

Common real-world situations

Mutual ghosting can happen after a few text exchanges on dating platforms or after a handful of dates. An example would be two people who go on three dates, feel no strong interest, and both stop texting soon after. Another example is a conversation on an app that loses steam, with no one trying to continue the talk. Both people lose interest at the same time, so the silence feels mutual.

What people share about mutual ghosting

Many people have given accounts on social media, sharing that after meeting up or messaging for a time, both parties often slip away without awkwardness or drama. Some describe feelings of mild confusion, but most understand the lack of contact as mutual disinterest. Common comments suggest that the pattern usually feels uneventful.

Research on the topic

Research shows ghosting can lead to feelings of confusion and sadness, particularly when one person is invested and the other cuts contact sharply. In mutual ghosting, the emotional effect tends to be mild, as both people recognize the end. Some research points to a pattern where people favor simple exits rather than lengthy talks when there is no chemistry.

Advice from relationship specialists

Many relationship experts state that clear talks are better than quiet withdrawal, even if mutual ghosting avoids confrontation. Direct conversations give both parties certainty about where things stand. However, in cases where both people lose interest at the same time, the need for a discussion may feel less pressing.

Patterns and self-reflection

Some therapists recommend thinking ahead about personal patterns if mutual ghosting happens often. This may help people notice any repeated habits or preferences that lead to short connections and fading contact. Noticing these themes can help people make different choices if they want lasting connections.