The Sugar Baby Who Helped Me Repair My Credit After Identity Theft

Of all the difficult things that I’ve gone through in my life, I didn’t think that a case of identity theft would so swiftly bring me to my breaking point. But, lucky for me, I didn’t go it alone. Erin was with me from the start to today, and I intend on making it up to her any way I can.

It all started when she and I were out for drinks, and I got a series of alerts on my phone that someone had changed my login information for my bank account. Swiftly, they had changed all personal information on the account so that I was completely shut out.

I immediately panicked and, I’m not so proud to admit it, froze. I had no idea what to do. Fraudulent charges were already starting to appear in my inbox, and my hands were shaking.

Erin, who is studying finance and is generally more logical and grounded than I am, flew into action without missing a step.

“I’ll drive,” she said, “You get on the phone with your bank immediately and tell them to freeze your account.”

Even that part I had a hard time with. You see, when I was growing up, we didn’t have to talk to those infuriating automated menus that every financial institution has when you call them. They send me into a rage within seconds of hearing that weird computer voice ask me to clarify what I’m calling about, which is exactly what happened in this situation.

I had the call on speakerphone, so Erin helped whenever I got flustered. Looking back, many sugar daddies probably wouldn’t put that much trust in their girlfriend, but Erin and I had been dating for a long time at that point. She had seen me in certain embarrassing situations. I had helped her out in her times of need. We had a mutual trust and understanding that many of my friends who are also sugar daddies don’t really get.

Anyway, we got to my place, finally, and I was still on hold waiting for a representative to take my call. I was all but hyperventilating. Didn’t these people know that they should prioritize my call? I was in the middle of an active takeover of my account!

Erin sat me in my reading chair, brought over a cup of tea, and stood behind me to give me a shoulder rub while I waited.

The details of how my bank was able to restore my security when I finally got a representative on the phone are probably not interesting to anyone but me. And even I don’t want to rehash them. But suffice to say that I got it handled, at least the first step of a very long process of dealing with a larger problem with identity theft. And who knows where I would be if I didn’t have Erin with me in that moment when my body went into full-on freeze mode.

That night, Erin stayed with me, no questions asked. She didn’t even have her overnight bag with her; our plan had been drinks, and then she would go home because she had an 8 am class in the morning. But she knew that this was just the beginning of a longer process that I didn’t even really anticipate. So, she told me she was staying with me, no problem. She’d show up to class in her going-out clothes. It wasn’t a big deal.

And of course, the stress dreams started that very night. So, it was nice not to wake up at 3 am in a cold sweat in an empty bed.

Over the next few weeks, Erin was there to help me through the practical and the emotional aftereffects of the identity theft. She had a list of things that I had to do, some I knew about and some that were new to me. For instance, I knew that I had to get new credit cards and change my login passwords. But she said that modern-day scammers are much more sophisticated than that. She reminded me that I would need to take extra steps, like filing a police report and reaching out to credit bureaus to put a security freeze on my credit report.

As she was saying all of this, I could feel my face getting red and itchy. She grabbed my hand, which I think she could see was already starting to shake.

“You’re not alone in this,” she said. It instantly calmed me. “I have your calendar. I’ve already chatted with your assistant. We’re scheduling everything you need.”

Erin was there to take me to the police department to file the police report. And she had a binder with all of the account statements that I would need to file the report. From there, she helped me submit the security freeze with the credit bureau.

Now listen. I wish that I could say that I was gracious and kind to Erin through this whole process. She was being an absolute saint, and I don’t know what I would have done without her. But I was a complete ball of stress and nerves. I wasn’t sleeping well. Every time I got an email, a shock of panic went through my system. I was worried that the fraud was going to happen again and again, for years. I had read online about people who struggled to get their finances back together for decades after something like this.

In sum, I was a mess. And Erin wasn’t getting the best version of me.

But as I said, Erin was a saint. And this was her area of expertise. Anytime I spiralled out in a panic attack, she could calm me down with a single sentence. I can see now that not everyone would have such a good bedside manner, and I feel guilty looking back, thinking about how much more I should have thanked her and appreciated her.

One day, when all I wanted to do was have a relaxing night with my sugar baby like we had done so many nights before this nightmare, I snapped. Within five minutes of arriving at the restaurant, Erin asked me if I had been checking in with my credit report since we had last seen each other. I hadn’t, partly because I was busy with work stuff and partly because ignorance is bliss, and the thought of opening the credit report filled me with a paralyzing sense of dread.

I told her as much, and Erin got quiet. My tone had been harsh.

“I know this has been rough on you,” she said. “You’re holding it in well. But I know what this is like. I’ve been there.”

Again, she was able to completely disengage me with just a few sentences. I apologized immediately and pulled her into a hug, which I think I probably needed more than her. She hugged me tight and gave the back of my neck a gentle squeeze.

“This is a process,” she told me. “Sometimes I forget that dealing with the emotional fallout is just as important as the logistical stuff. What are you doing to deal with the stress?”

I gave her a cynical laugh, which was answer enough.

Erin clapped her hands together to show that she was about to fix something for me.

“That’s it,” she said, “Time to start scheduling some meditation classes and professional massages. This is a non-negotiable!”

By the time the security freeze on my credit report expired, I was in a much different place. In terms of my security and finances, everything was back in order and stronger than ever. Erin taught me the importance of things like 2-factor identification and updating my passwords. And no other attempts at fraudulent activity were reported under my name, thank goodness.

But I’ll emphasize this again, the most important thing that Erin did for me was emotional. The fact that she was there for me was something I’ll never forget. She helped me navigate the stress and the guilt that I felt. She made me actually believe that this wasn’t the end of the world, even though it felt like that when I couldn’t fall back to sleep at 4 in the morning and called her just to hear her voice.

When it was all over, I took Erin on a vacation to a little yoga retreat place in the mountains.

As we were sipping coffee in our robes in the morning before the first meditation class, she said to me, “Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love this. But why bring me here instead of, I don’t know, the beach or Vegas or something?”

I took in a full, deep breath and said, “I just figured I wanted to give you a little bit of peace and quiet after you helped me stay calm for 12 straight months. If you want Vegas, we can do that next weekend. We can do whatever you want, just say the word. I mean it.”

She leaned back in her chair and smiled. “I’ll keep that in mind,” she said playfully.